Hello, Dean
by usedtoromanticize
Summary: Castiel is closing the gates to heaven. Dean isn't so sure he's ready to say goodbye to his angel. Basically my speculations for 8x23 up to the beginning of Season 9. Also on tumblr as aperfectgrace.


My first destiel fanfic and basically what I think (and am sort of hoping) will happen in 8x23 up to the season 9 premiere.

Hope you like it :)

* * *

"Hello, Dean."

He spun around in alarm at the gravelly voice that he knew so well and was met with a pair of familiar blue eyes.

"Jeez, Cas, way to give a guy some warning," he muttered, turning away from the fridge to face Castiel. He eyed the plastic grocery bag in the angel's hands slightly suspiciously. "What's that?"

Castiel set the bag on the table, pulling its contents out one by one: a six pack of beer (that Dean looked at appreciatively), a few rolls of toilet paper, canned soup, a carton of eggs, and the latest edition of Busty Asian Beauties. Dean looked from the strange mix of items back at Cas in confusion.

"I went shopping," he explained. "I heard you and Sam talking about running low supplies." He paused for a moment. "My apologies, they were out of pie."

The hunter almost laughed at the earnest, mildly disappointed expression on Castiel's face. Then he remembered that he was still supposed to be angry with him. Dean coughed and put on his poker face.

"Look, Cas. I haven't forgiven you yet, and a pie isn't going to change that. It's not that easy." He turned away to hide any emotion on his face, or any indication that a pie was actually probably enough to earn his forgiveness.

Castiel sighed, pushing the groceries away and walked around to lean on the table while still facing Dean.

"Believe me, I know. And I don't think I deserve your forgiveness. But as of now I am staying with you and your brother. So I wanted to help in any way that I can. Even if it is just acquiring some food or your, er… _Busty Asian Beauties_."

Dean answered with silence. He thought even if Cas _did_ abandon them, he _had_ done a lot for them already. And at least he still made some effort to help. Finally, he turned around with a '_thanks, Cas' _on the tip of his tongue, but the angel was already gone.

* * *

Another week had passed. Sam and Dean were on the path of finding out what the hell it meant to 'cure a demon.' There had been no sign of Castiel's existence for while, except for the bags of food that would mysteriously appear in the Impala. And the occasional dark, sleek feather that would accompany it. But that could have been anyone.

After finding food (including pie this time, to Dean's immense excitement) and feathers but no Cas for the third day in a row, the elder Winchester had finally had it with waiting for the angel's reappearance.

"Cas!" He called up at the darkened sky, "Where are you? What the hell have you been doing? I thought we were clear, no more secrets!"

Immediately, there was a flurry of wings behind him. He swiveled around to find the same piercing azure eyes staring back at him intently.

"Hello, Dean."

"Don't give me your '_hello, Dean_' again! Where the hell have you been, man? I thought you were done with this deserting us crap."

"I didn't _desert_ you." Castiel pointed out. "I still came back and left you supplies. I've just been…" He hesitated, looking away with uncertainty.

"You've been what?"

"Busy."

"Busy? That's it? You disappear for a week, after being gone for _much_ longer, and your only excuse is that you're _busy_?"

Castiel threw his arms up in frustration, "Yes Dean, _busy, _damn it." Dean's eyebrows shot up in surprise. He hadn't noticed that Cas had picked up on his habit of swearing, but he decided now wasn't exactly the time to comment on it.

"It seems you're unable to comprehend that I am _not_ your lapdog. I am a warrior of heaven and I have much more important matters to attend to."

"Exactly. You're an angel. So what could be more important than closing the gates of hell? You know, the place that holds all of our worse enemies since just about, oh I don't know, forever?"

"I've been speaking with Metatron," the angel responded calmly.

"Great, so you and Metatron have been partying up in heaven, leaving me and Sam to find out how to cure a demon."

"What does that even mean?"

"I don't know," Dean answered patronizingly, "Maybe you would know if you had been helping us instead of having angelic slumber parties with the guy who kept himself locked away from the world for who knows how long."

"Like I said, we have had more important matters to discuss, Dean."

"And like _I_ said, what could possibly be more important than slamming the gates of hell shut forever?"

"Closing the gates to heaven."

"That is not…" Dean's sentence trailed off into nothing, his eyes widening at those words. That was not what he had expected to hear. Not at all. He started again, "You're doing _what now_?"

The angel sighed, somewhat glad that they were no longer yelling. He repeated, "Closing the gates of heaven."

"But…_why_?" Dean asked, his eyebrows knitting together. Why would Castiel, an angel, and Metatron, also an angel, want to close themselves, and all of their kind, out of earth?

"You of all people have definitely seen what's been going on with us. Everything involving Michael, Lucifer, Naomi… me… It's all going to hell. Not literally, but almost." Castiel chuckled quietly at his own joke. "We are basically a giant, dysfunctional family. And we all need to sit down and as you might say, get our shit together."

Dean barked out a laugh then bit his lip, pondering this new information. He finally asked, "So who's gonna be the unlucky bastard, then? Metatron?"

Castiel squinted his eyes in confusion. "Excuse me?"

"You know, the one to undergo all the trials." Dean shrugged. "You know, assuming it's like the demon trials, right?"

"Oh, yes. The trials." Castiel nodded in recognition, then admitted, "Actually, I will be the one completing them."

The grin fell off Dean's face as quickly as it came. "What?"

"I said that I am complet—"

"Oh no, I heard you just fine," Dean assured him, "What I'm asking is why? You've seen Sam. He's been hacking up blood for weeks! Why would you put yourself through that?"

Castiel met him with an intense gaze. "You seem to have forgotten that I am an angel. I am much stronger than any human."

"Well, yeah, I know that. But these trials were arranged by God Himself. I'm sure they won't be easy, even for an angel. _Especially_ for an angel. Also, you don't have the Angel Tablet. How will you even know what the trials are?"

"Dean, Metatron is the Scribe of heaven. He wrote the Tablets. I don't need the Tablet when he can tell me what they said. In fact, I've already completed the first trial."

"What? When?"

"What do you think I was doing during the time that I was gone? Certainly not eating pie and partying in heaven."

"Well what was it?" Dean asked curiously. If Castiel had completed the trial so quickly, it must have been much easier than the trials for closing hell.

"To kill a Nephilim."

Dean vaguely recognized the name from Sam's trying to inform him, but he couldn't quite place the name with the actual definition. "Remind me what that is?"

"Half human, half angel."

The Winchester's brow furrowed. "Why would you kill one? I mean, it's half your kind. Wouldn't that kind of be like killing one of your own?"

Castiel shook his head. "Why would you kill a human that turned into a werewolf? Metatron has told me that Nephilim are an abomination to our kind. They should not exist. In fact, that very one…she was the last one on this earth."

"But they can't help what they are. They didn't choose it; they were born like that."

The angel hesitated before answering. "I thought the same, but a human cannot help being bitten by a werewolf. But that should not stop you from killing it if it is a monster."

Dean shrugged. "I guess you're right. But these trials, Cas? Are you sure about it? You don't know what it could do to you. What if it turns out like Sam? Or worse? You always tell me angels are God's warriors, right? Well, why would He want His warriors all locked up? It would probably take a lot to do it, much more than shutting the gates of hell."

"I don't know, Dean." Castiel admitted, shaking his head. "I don't know what will happen. But I need to do what I can to get my family back in order, no matter what it takes. If you could save your family from total…chaos… wouldn't you?"

The hunter scoffed and smiled wryly, "Total chaos, huh? I guess you could try. But for me, it's a little too late for that."

Castiel gave him a regretful look. "Dean… I didn't mean—"

"It's okay," Dean waved it off, "I know what you mean. It's okay."

He received a hopeful look from the angel.

"We're okay?"

"Yeah, Cas." Dean grinned at his friend. "We're okay."

The sincere meaning behind his words was not lost to either of them.

* * *

"Cas?"

The angel glanced over. "Yes, Dean?"

Sam also looked at him with curiosity. Dean took a sip of his beer, the bitter taste washing through his mouth. The three of them, Dean, Sam, and Cas, were all leaning against the hood of the Impala, drinking their beers and watching the sun set over the lake on the side of the road. Dean looked away from Castiel and out at the horizon, which was slowly fading from blue to orange and pink with the setting sun. It had been a long few days. Sam and Castiel had both continued on with their respective trials. They still had yet to find out how to cure a demon. Castiel had had significantly more luck, what with Metatron helping him along. He had even finished his second trial, leaving one more.

"Dean?"

"Wha?" Dean asked, jolted out of his thoughts by the angel's deep voice.

"I was under the impression that you were about to say something after you said my name."

"Oh, right!" Dean exclaimed. With his deep reveries, he had almost forgotten what he was about to ask. "If you lock heaven up… will you still be able to come back?"

Castiel gazed at him sadly for a long time before speaking. "No, Dean. I don't think so. That's kind of the point. We kind of need to talk it out in a room without any interruptions or distractions."

"Oh…" Dean trailed off, letting his thoughts take over again.

"So you would be stuck in there forever? Like some sort of angelic Pandora's box?" Sam suddenly chimed in.

"I guess you could put it like that. I mean, maybe there's some sort of reset that could unlock the gates and let us out. But until that happens, I guess we won't really know. Metatron has never mentioned anything like it, though, so I am assuming that once you're in, you can't get out."

"Never?" Dean asked. "As in you wouldn't be able to come to earth at all? Couldn't come back down to see humans? Even in dreams?"

Castiel sighed. "I don't think so, Dean."

"Are you sure you want to do this then?" Dean continued uncertainly. "Are you sure you wouldn't ever want to come back down here again to, you know, visit?"

"I'm sure I would _want_ to. I want a lot of things," Cas confessed with a distinct longing behind his voice, "But it's not really a matter of what I want. It's what I have to do."

"Don't you think we would all pretty much destroy the earth with no angels to help or guide us or something?"

The angel shrugged. "Maybe. But I'm sure you will have closed hell by then. So no one has to worry about angels or demons anymore. Just humans."

"And every other monster that exists," Dean pointed out.

"Yes, and that. But you have handled that pretty well before you knew angels even existed. I'm sure you'll get along just fine."

Dean sighed in defeat. "I guess."

He didn't get to say the one word that he'd been holding back for so long. _Stay._

* * *

"Dean, I've found it."

"Hmmurrnghh?" Dean groaned into his pillow, unable to make any discernible words in his sleep-heavy state.

"Dean?" The voice came again. A hand was pressing at his shoulder, shaking him gently. "Dean, I know you've asked me not to wake you up before, but this is important. Dean? Dean! We have to go back to that lake. Dean!"

Green eyes squeezed shut tightly then blinked open, sending the somnolence away. Dean pulled himself together enough to determine the time. Three twenty-seven in the morning.

"Cas," Dean groaned, sinking back into his pillow, "It is way too early for this. Can't you come back in the morning or something?"

"No, Dean, this is too important!"

Dean was beyond exhausted. They all were. Between the trials and Crowley killing people that they had previously saved, there was a lot on his plate. And he did not have time or energy for an angel to be interrupting his sleep, no matter how important he thought his cause was. "Look, Cas. I have gotten about three hours of sleep total in the past forty-eight hours. I'm sure whatever it is is very important, but I really need my four hours right now."

Before he knew it, he was drifting back into a dreamless sleep.

* * *

The morning light was way too bright. It was shining through the open blinds, inching upwards and into Dean's eyes as the hours passed. Finally, he had had enough of it and got up. Then the previous night's events hit him. His eyes widened. Shit. He had totally blown off Cas. And it must have been really important because Cas almost never interrupted his sleep once he'd told him not to. _Shit._

He got dressed quickly, throwing on a flannel shirt, yesterday's jeans, and his boots. He quickly threw all his belongings into his bag, threw it over his shoulder, and ran out the door. He found Sam already checking out.

"Sam!" Dean shouted as he ran to his brother. "Shit, Sam. Have you seen Cas?"

"Um, no, not since yesterday. Why?"

_"Shit!"_

"What is it?"

"Last night. He told me there was something important. God damn it, what was it?!"

"You tell me!"

Dean threaded his hands into his own hair, pulling sharply as if it would help to reveal his foggy, sleepy memories of the night. "He said…he said it was important. That he had found something… and he said we had to go somewhere…"

"Where?"

"Um…" He squinted his eyes. What was it? Some place familiar…that they had been to recently…where…it was—

"The lake! He said something about a lake!"

"Well what are we waiting for?" Sam demanded impatiently. "Let's go!"

* * *

So they had gone about twice the speed limit to get to the lake, but they had finally reached it. The same place they had been not so long ago.

"Dean! Look!" Sam pointed across the lake to a few glowing figures and what looked like two massive shining doors. "Are those…are those the gates?"

"I think so…" Dean whispered in awe. When they said 'pearly gates' they weren't kidding. The gates to heaven literally looked like they were made of pearls. They were bright and glowed with a beautiful white luminescence coming from within.

"Look! It's Metatron!" Sam exclaimed, pointing to the figure closer to them. "Let's go!"

The brothers ran as fast as they could toward Metatron. As they were nearing, Dean spotted another figure beyond, closer to the gates.

_Cas,_ he realized. He immediately ran past Metatron, straight to the other angel.

"Dean! Where are you going?" Sam shouted, starting to run after him. He was stopped as Metatron grabbed the back of his jacket.

"Don't go after him," the scribe warned, "It's dangerous to get too close to the gates if you're a human."

"You just let my brother go!" Sam pointed out.

"What's done is done." Metatron told him, refusing to let him get any closer.

* * *

"Cas! Cas!" Dean was nearly screaming as he got closer to Castiel. The angel was truly a glorious sight to behold. He was glowing from within, a white light coming from his eyes. Not bright enough to blind, but enough to cast a magnificent blaze of light around him. He was bathed in the white-blue illumination emitted by the gates before him.

"Cas!" Dean shrieked once more. He grabbed Castiel's arm. Castiel turned to look at him, the light fading from his eyes, but still giving off a faint radiance.

"Dean? You came…?"

"Yes," Dean panted from the exertion of energy from running so fast and so far. "I'm sorry I didn't listen before, but Cas… is it too late? Has it already been done?"

"Yes." Castiel averted his gaze back to the gates. "I have completed the third trial."

"No," Dean whispered, "_No_!"

"Dean? What is it?" Castiel asked worriedly, "Are you okay? What's going on? Sam's trials aren't affecting you, too, are they?"

"No." Dean shook his head. "Please, Cas…"

"What? Please what? Dean, what are you…"

"Don't go." Dean whispered brokenly. "_Stay._ Please, stay with me."

"Dean…" Castiel murmured. "I can't. You know I can't. I have to do this. You know I do. You know I have to fix my family…"

"And what about after that? After it's all said and done? You'll just stay up there forever with no way out? And I'll never be able to see you again? Is that what's going to happen?"

"Dean, I don't understand," Castiel mumbled, shaking his head. He gripped Dean's shoulder's, right over where the scar from so long resided. "Why does it suddenly matter whether I am here or not?"

"Cas, you're an idiot. Of course it _matters. _It all matters! God damn it, Cas! You don't understand, do you? I've said it before and I'll say it again since you don't seem to get it. _I need you. _I need you _here. _With me. Please. Stay. Don't leave again. You said you wouldn't abandon us…wouldn't abandon me…"

"I have to do this. You know I do." Castiel repeated. His eyes were becoming wet and he wasn't accustomed to the sensation.

"Please, Cas. I'm begging here. And you _know _I don't beg. Please." Dean whispered in a last attempt to make his angel stay. He knew it wouldn't be enough, but he still had to try. Since he had met Castiel, the angel had been a constant in his life. He hadn't trusted him immediately, but Castiel had gained his trust quickly, much faster than anyone else outside of family. But that was just it. He was like family to Dean, but more. They had shared a profound bond over a lot: the absent father, losing themselves, break in trust, confusion of faith, and a lot more, but they stayed loyal to each other.

Dean knew that in the end, Castiel would always be there for him. He'd seen it all. Even in the alternate universe where the apocalypse had happened and Sam had said yes to Lucifer, Cas had stayed by Dean's side. Even when he was broken and a shell of what he used to be, he was loyal to Dean. And even if their friendship wasn't how it was before, the connection was there. And that was enough. He knew that Castiel would always be with him. Forever.

* * *

a year later

Time had ticked by. Old wounds faded. Memories became hazy until they were forgotten. New battles were fought. Old ones were forgotten. But for Dean, there was still a Castiel-shaped hole in his heart. He didn't talk about it. He didn't think about it. Or at least he tried not to. All it did was bring unnecessary pain. And resurface memories. Good memories and bad. Memories of friendship, laughter, betrayal, loyalty, forgiveness…love, even if it was unspoken.

He'd missed Cas. A lot. God, there was nothing he wanted more than to have his angel back in his life. But he was gone. Locked away in heaven. Most likely never to be seen again.

Dean hoped Cas had gotten what he'd hoped for. He hoped the angelic family had reconciled, no matter how much trouble they had caused the Winchesters. Because it was what Cas wanted. What Cas wants.

And now, as he walks down the streets alone in a crowded park, he sees something he hadn't seen in awhile. A man wearing a trench coat sitting on a bench. And of course, that old unforgotten pang of hurt and longing comes back. He's about to turn away when the head turns and he sees a flash of that bright blue that he hadn't seen in ages, yet could never forget.

No, it couldn't be. Castiel the angel was behind the locked gates of heaven that he had closed himself a year ago. He was most definitely not getting up from the bench, dusting himself off, and walking towards Dean with a tentative smile on his face.

That couldn't be Castiel… could it? No. He squashed the hope inside him. He couldn't let himself be disappointed…again. This had happened before. Usually he'd just blink and the imagined figure would be gone. Dean rubbed his eyes. Blinked once. Twice. Three times. Nope, he was still there. Not dreaming. But this couldn't be. Castiel was certainly not standing in front of him, leaning toward him with his head tilted. Okay, one more try. Dean shook his head and blinked again.

He opened his eyes. Castiel—or the look alike—was still there. This had not happened before. He let his hopes rise again. It was worth a try.

Dean cleared his throat before speaking. "Cas?"

The man in front of him's tentative smile turned into a full-fledged grin, stretching from ear to ear.

"Hello, Dean."

* * *

So i'm not sure if I like how I ended this... I had an idea for a continuation in mind and I'll write it if people like this story :)


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